English 104: Essay 1

Here is my first English paper; a personal response essay on one of the short stories read for class called "What We Talk About When We Talk About Love". I chose this one over the other options because I actually had a response to this story which I thought would be helpful for a personal response. Once again, enjoy if you feel like it.

What Are We Talking About When We Talk About Love?

In Raymond Carver’s short story “What We Talk About When We Talk About Love” two married couples sit around a coffee table, drink gin, and ponder what love is. The dominant speaker throughout the story is a cardiologist named Mel. Mel wonders if his wife Terri’s first partner Ed actually loved her. Mel also wonders how he could possibly say he loves Terri and yet have felt the same thing with his first wife whom he now deplores. The interactions between him and the other people are interesting because it appeared to me that what they talked about when they talked about love was not love at all.
Ed is the one character that stuck out in my mind, which might seem odd because he actually doesn’t appear except in conversation, but the discussions of his actions towards Terri are so much a part of the story creating some of the only conflict among the characters. Speaking of Ed, Teri recollects that he, “Loved her so much he tried to kill her” (Carver 187). That statement rubbed me the wrong way. I remember thinking about that statement against what I hold as my standard for love found in Christian scriptures. Descriptions such as, “Love is kind…It is not self-seeking…It always protects” (New International Version, 1 Cor. 13. 4,5,7) and, “Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends.” (John 15. 13). Ed says that he loves Terri but under this lens does he? In my mind he does not. There is passion expressed about their relationship but there is also passion in the most brutal war. I do not think that passion alone means love. What about his other actions? Maybe by what he does he can show that he loves Terri? He is willing to shoot himself because he has some feeling for her but he is laying down his life for his own desires not for another person.
Another piece of the story that stuck out to me is that as it progresses and they continue to talk the couples all end up intoxicated, sitting in the dark. The narrator observes at the end when all of their ideas run out, “…not one of us moving, not even when the room went dark.” (Carver 195). They are trying to find out what love is but all the while they are deadening their senses and reason with gin and falling deeper in the darkness of ignorance. The symbolism of them trying to gain the light of knowledge in the darkness was striking. It made me think that love as I see it should be something that is found in the light not in the dark. I did not want any part of what these people saw as love: I immediately wanted to read about what I think love is. I do not want what these people offer on the subject because they do not seem to know themselves what it was that they actually feel for each other, whether what they feel for each other is a lasting bond between them or just a temporary feeling. I would rather have the love that Mel saw between two of his patients, an older couple recovering from a serious car wreck, he said the husband was feeling depressed but not because of the accident but because “…he couldn’t see his wife through his eye holes…the man’s heart was breaking because he couldn’t turn his go***n head and see his go***n wife” (Carver 194). This description of what love is touches on something real. It is not describing some feeling that wears off and then sinks a marriage; it is a love that is a lasting part of somebody’s life. And that stands out to me from the rest of the story because nobody else in this story has that kind of love.
I do not want it to appear that I know all about this subject, I definitely do not. But from what I do know and believe about love the darkness they are in at the end of the story is can be seen as a picture of their own limitations and shortcomings. The four people talking about a very deep and complex subject do not hold the answers, they just create more questions about what it is they are talking about when they talk about love. But from what I see the answers are not supposed to be found in the story. [Professor's note: What about the old couple?]

Works Cited
Carver, Raymond. “What We Talk About When We Talk About Love.” The Story and Its Writer: An Introduction to Short Fiction. 7th ed. Ed. Ann Charters. New York: Bedford/St. Martin’s, 2007. 187-195.
The Holy Bible, New International Version. Grand Rapids: Zondervan, 2002

Writing 121: Essay 1

This is the revision of the first paper I did this year and it was for my Writing 121 class. The book mentioned is Persopolis by Marjane Satrapi and the topic for the essay is: "'The Story of a childhood', in the course of the the story, how dos Marji grow up? Focus on one or two important characteristics of her coming of age: either qualities of her personality or character, or aspects of the outside world."
Enjoy if you feel like it. (But don't enjoy it to the point of theft. That would be very bad.)

A Childhood Left Behind

Persopolis is the story of the author Marjane Satrapi growing up in Iran during the Islamic Revolution of 1978-1979 and during the war with Iraq from 1980-1988. In the story, Marjane goes from being a nine-year-old girl who wants to be a prophet to a fourteen-year-old that has experienced the pain of loss more dramatically than anyone her age should have to. At the end of the book, Marjane's parents decide that it is time for her to leave Iran and go to school to Austria to get away from the war. In one of the closing scenes of Persopolis, Satrapi depicts her parents, sitting across from her on a couch in their otherwise barren living room in Iran, and Marjane's parents are telling her the idea and she says, "But I'm only fourteen! You trust me?" (147). They reply that they do. Marjane's family, personality and experiences compel her to come to a place of early independence.

When Marjane is ten years old a full scale revolution is under way in Iran, and she sees herself as Che Guevara. In this scene, and all throughout the book, Marjane shows a need to be somebody else. Early on, while she sees herself as a prophet, she wants to be, "justice, love and wrath of God all in one." (9). But by the end, she is just wanting to fit in somewhere, even skipping out on class to hang out with some older girls. In both cases, she shows her imagined maturity by trying to be something she isn't.

Marjane's family is a very modern family, and this influences her view on the radical religious regime. Later on in the story, when she is asked to participate in religious observances, she mocks the self-torture sessions her teachers ask her to perform daily. It is fair to note, though, that the rest of the children mentioned in her school are like this too. She says, "Every situation provided an opportunity for laughs" (97). When facing punishment from the teachers for misbehavior Satrapi states, "We were all united" (97). Her family identifies themselves as socialists. Her parents give her books on socialism, and her father's brother, Uncle Anoosh, whom she adores, has his doctorate in Marxism-Leninism. Because of her family influence, she views the world differently.

Marjane's family believes in the importance of education. Near the end of the book Tehran is being bombed consistently, and Satrapi says, "Now that Tehran was under attack, many fled. The city was deserted. As for us we stayed. Not just out of fatalism. If there was to be any future, in my parents' eyes, that future was linked to my French education. And Tehran was the only place I could get it." (137). The parents' willingness to keep themselves in a dangerous situation for the sake of Marjane's education shows how much value they put on good education. Also, earlier on in the story, Marjane cuts class to hang out with some older girls in her school, and when she is confronted about this by her mom she tries to cover it up by saying it was just a religion class. Her mom is not pleased and, after calling Marjane on her lie, she says, "...Now is the time for learning. You have your whole life to have fun! What are you going to be when you grow up? ..." (113). The mother's behavior shows her belief that education plays a key role in a child's maturing process.

At fourteen, Marjane says she is a rebel. School is a struggle between her and the faculty. But rebellion and growing up are two different things. Marjane shows some very real signs of maturing near the end of the book, when her parents decide that it is time for her to leave the country and go to Austria for school rather than stay in war-torn Iran. The way she handles herself and follows through on the plan is admirable, but at the same time, what it means for her is saddening. For Marjane to leave Iran means not only a change in culture for her, but also leaving behind everything she knows, including family and friends. Before she leaves, Marjane has her friends over to say good-bye, and she says, "I never realized how much they loved me. And I understood how much they meant to me." (149). Also, when she is at the airport saying good-bye to her parents, knowing that she will never live with them again, she says that, "Nothing is worse than saying good-bye. It's a little like dying." (153). In both of these cases we see her maturing greatly during a very short amount of time, and at this point her "Story of a Childhood" ends.

Perhaps that also means, in Satrapi's mind, this is when Marjane's childhood ended, in a line of strangers at Mehrabad airport, her mother collapsed from grief, while Marjane is on the other side of a wall of glass. (153) Throughout Persopolis, Marjane's life goes through many changes, from her knowledge of her prophetic destiny, to her falling in love with punk rock. But throughout all these changes, her family is always a constant, always there. That her parents feel that they can trust Marjane on her own shows that they feel that, with the way she has been brought her up, they believe she will be fine on her own. Like Marjane, I have also left places I love, and I was struck by her depictions of leaving and how true they are. Saying good-bye is a little like dying. But, even so there is hope, because not only is somebody leaving behind what they know by leaving, they are going someplace new, with new experiences to be had. And maybe Marjane will find that, not only is saying good-bye a little like dying, but arriving someplace new is a little like waking up.

Works Cited

Satrapi, Marjane. Persopolis: The Story of a Childhood. 1^st ed. New York: Pantheon, 2004

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It's All Over

School ended tonight at 7:50 P.M. I am now a free man for four whole weeks. Nice.

Now that this happy occasion has occurred I will begin to post some of my essays up here, because really, who doesn't want to put up their hard earned effort for the whole world to see? So those will be put up soon.

I'm free.

Yay.